Animals Talking in all CAPS

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I’ve fallen hard for the surrealism of Tumblr Animals Talking All In Caps. It features pictures of animals, from cats to tropically hued lizards, and they are talking ALL IN CAPS. The shouty creatures have remarkably human thoughts too.

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I CAN SORT OF SEE WHAT YOU’RE GOING FOR, BUT THE MAIN PROBLEM HERE IS THAT YOU DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE … STYLE? GOOD CLOTHES? A MODICUM OF RESTRAINT? THINGS LIKE THAT.

RIGHT NOW YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE LET LIBERACE DESIGN A METER MAID UNIFORM FOR A DESERT ENVIRONMENT.

PLEASE DON’T SMILE. THAT’S NOT A COMPLIMENT.

~

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THAT LOOKS QUITE PAINFUL. I’D SAY THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE IT’S BROKEN.

FAIL TO RESTORE YOUR ACCOUNT TO A POSITIVE BALANCE, MR. ANDREWS, AND YOU WILL INCUR FURTHER OVERDRAFTS.

INCUR FURTHER OVERDRAFTS AND YOU’LL BE SEEING US AGAIN.

NEXT TIME WE WON’T BE SO POLITE, YOU UNDERSTAND?

THANK YOU FOR BANKING WITH NATIONAL CITY.

~

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I MEAN, YEAH, I WANT A GIRLFRIEND BUT I’M PRETTY REALISTIC ABOUT MY CHANCES.

UNTIL THEY INVENT A WAY TO INSTAGRAM REAL LIFE I’M PROBABLY GOING TO BE SINGLE.

~

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PSSST. LOOK AT THE WAY CHARLES IS WALKING. HIS LIMP IS HILARIOUS.

AH OHWN DINK EW SHUH MAIG FUNNA HEEM. HE GAH HID BAI UH CAAH LAIG MEH.

WHAT?

AH SEH HE GAH HID BAI UH CAAH LAIG MEH!

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. EVER SINCE YOU GOT HIT BY THAT CAR IT’S BEEN REALLY HARD TO UNDERSTAND YOU.

~

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COME BACK! I SIMPLY WANT TO OFFER YOU A FREE PERSONALITY TEST TO DETERMINE WHETHER YOU’RE EXPERIENCING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL FOR HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS! NORMALLY THIS KIND OF TEST WOULD COST YOU IN EXCESS OF $500!

JUST LEAVE US ALONE! FUCKING SCIENTOLOGISTS!

IF YOU’RE NOT HAPPY WITH LIFE I CAN HELP YOU FIND OUT WHY! DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE REACTIVE MIND?

~

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LAURIE, IT TOOK ME TWO HOURS TO GET INTO THIS THING AND THE CORSET IS SUPER TIGHT. JUST GET ME ANOTHER BEER, PLEASE.

UGH! I’M NOT YOUR BABYSITTER! NEXT TIME REMEMBER TO CUT ARM HOLES!

I WILL. I’M SORRY. HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

~

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DO I WORK OUT? NO, I’M THIS DICED UP FROM ALL THE READING I DO. OF COURSE I WORK OUT, BABE. LOOK AT THIS SHIT.

IT’S LIKE, DO YOU HAVE ANY TAPE?

‘CAUSE I’M RIPPED. RIGHT?

SOMEONE CALL A MYRIAPODOLOGIST BECAUSE THESE MILLIPEDES ARE SIIIIICK.

~

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OH MY GOD, MOM, STOP TRYING TO BE CURRENT. IT’S EMBARRASING ENOUGH THAT YOU HAVE A FACEBOOK.

JUST GO LISTEN TO YOUR ZUNE, OKAY?

~

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Isn’t that Daryl?

JUST IGNORE HIM, OTHERWISE HE’S GOING TO THINK I CARE. IF HE WAS WORTH MY TIME HE WOULDN’T HAVE CHEATED ON ME. I’D TURN AROUND AND TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF BUT I DON’T WANT TO WASTE THE ENERGY.

COME ON, LET’S GO GET SOME PINKBERRY.

~

For more go to http://animalstalkinginallcaps.tumblr.com/

Mooooo

xxx

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